For instance, the section titled HOW TO BANISH THE DEVIL FROM YOUR PRESENCE gives 7 points:
- Laugh out loud.
- Make the sign of the cross.
- Seek the company of other believers.
- Serve those who have less than you.
- Confess your sins.
- Break wind.
- Consider what you might be doing to invite the devil into your life.
Then there's the section HOW TO AVOID GETTING BURNED AT THE STAKE which concludes with
- If there is no hope of escape, request dry wood and plenty of dry kindling. Green wood burns slower, smokier, and at lower temperatures, causing a more painful death.
The Lutheran Handbook is an Augsburg Fortress publication. ISBN 0-8066-5179-2. I highly recommend it and I've barely read anything in it but it puts some fun back into Christianity, fun that often gets sucked out by serious Christians.