Stereotypes

They're stereotypes, sure, but funny IMO.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Birthday Gospel

LutheranChik gave me this idea. Give it a try. See what the four gospels say in your birth month chapter and birth day verse. Here're mine.

Matthew 10.14 "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town."

Mark 10.14 "But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, 'Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.'"

Luke 10.14 "But at the judgment it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon than for you."

John 10.14 "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me."

Advent and Christmas Message

A scripture reading in Advent cries out "O that you would tear open the heavens and come down!" (Isa 64:1). It sounds kind of impatient. At this time of year many children are feeling just like that about Christmas. "O that Christmas morning would just get here!"

During Advent we in the church put our brakes on, we try not to rush to Christmas morning the way much of the world does. We often lament the commercialization of Christmas. It seems that many stores hang the Christmas decorations and start playing the Christmas music earlier every year. I heard a news report this year that said some retailers were getting an early start on the Christmas season to get us out spending our money before we're shocked by the expected increase in our heating bills.

Isaiah's cry was that God would come down, that we would see God's powerful presence, that God would appear and we would mend our sinful ways. When we look at the state of our world, at wars happening in numerous places, at corrupt governments causing their people to suffer, when we see people hungry, people dying from preventable diseases, sometimes we want to call God down to straighten the whole mess out.

In Advent we look forward to God coming down. We look forward to the celebration of Christmas when the Son of God emptied himself and was born as one of us, as a poor baby without much of a roof over his head. Not exactly shock and awe, not exactly a powerful presence forcing us to mend our sinful ways.

We await the child in the manger and we await the glorious Son of God returning at the end of time. The first coming was a gift that reconciled us to God and each other. The second coming will restore all that we've messed up. That's not to say we sit back now and wait. We, who have been saved by God's grace, ought to communicate that Good News far and wide and work for the health and well being of our community and our world.

The Advent season is a time of anticipation but we're not waiting for something unknown. We know that for Christians the expectations of the prophets were fulfilled in the manger. We know how Advent ends but we always greet Christmas and greet Christ with amazement and delight. We also know that Christmas is a beginning, not an ending. We sing "Christ, the Saviour, is born!" and we proclaim "Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again." The anticipation continues.

God bless your Advent and may you have a Merry Christmas.

Christ the King

Christ the King
November 20, 2005
Matthew 25.31-46

I read about a party game.
I’ve never played it but reading about it
I can imagine how it might play out.
The setting could be any kind of party,
maybe a pot-luck,
maybe one of the many Christmas parties
that will be happening in the next month.
To play the game, you set up for a party
with punch bowls, finger foods, hors d’oeuvres, and so on.
Every person in the room gets a sign taped to his or her back,
reading "monarch," "courtier," "servant," or "beggar."
Once everyone has their sign you start the party.
The game is to try to guess what sign is on your back,
and try to help others guess what’s on their backs,
by treating each other
as you think someone of their status should be treated.
It also depends on what you think might be on your back.
If your sign says "monarch,"
the vast majority of guests are going to flatter you
and offer you treats.
If the sign on your back says "beggar,"
you’re probably going to be treated like trash—
especially if you have the nerve to act
as if you were equal to others with higher status.
It’s a game that can also teach you something.
You can discuss how it felt to be treated a certain way,
or how it felt having to treat others
according to the signs on their backs.

But what would it be like to live in a community,
to live in a world, where everyone,
even the beggars
who get spit on by the high and mighty in our world,
everyone were treated
as if the sign on their back said "monarch."

Today, on Christ the King Sunday,
we hear this strange and difficult parable-like story
of the final judgment.
It’s a story that can make us uncomfortable.
According to Jesus, one day we will stand
before the King of the Universe
and hear his judgment on our lives.
He’ll sort us into two groups—goats to the left and sheep to the right,
the goats to be punished forever
and the sheep to have eternal life.
What do we do with a story like that?
Do we review our lists?
Read it carefully.
You need at least one hungry person, one thirsty one,
one stranger, one naked person,
one sick person, and one prisoner
so that you can supply food, drink,
a warm welcome, some clothes,
a hospital visit, and a prison visit.
So does that mean that you’ll be one of the sheep
and not one of the goats?

I have a book called Good Goats.
In it the writer relates the following:
A few years ago, we made a presentation
to a group of elderly retired Roman Catholic nuns.
One sister raised her hand and asked,
"What about the story of the sheep and the goats?
It says right there that the sheep go to heaven
and the goats go to hell."

The presenter responded by asking the whole group,
"How many of you, even once in your life,
have done what Jesus asks at the beginning of that passage
and fed a hungry person, clothed a naked person
or visited a person in prison?"
All the sisters raised their hands.
He said, "That’s wonderful! You’re all sheep."
Then he asked, "How many of you, even once in your life,
have walked by a hungry person,
failed to clothe a naked person,
or not visited someone in prison?"
Slowly, all the sisters raised their hands.
He said, "That’s too bad. You’re all goats."

The sisters looked worried and perplexed.
Then suddenly one very old sister’s hand shot up.
She blurted out, "I get it! We’re all good goats!"

If you listen carefully to the sheep and the goats in the gospel reading
you’ll discover something. Listen to the sheep:
"When did we give you something to eat or drink?
When did we welcome you as a stranger
or give you clothes to wear
or visit you while you were sick or in jail?"
And listen to the goats:
"Lord, when did we fail to help you
when you were hungry or thirsty or a stranger
or naked or sick or in jail?"
Do you notice that both the sheep and the goats
are surprised to hear
that they did or didn’t do those things for Jesus?
It’s not about checking off one hungry person, one thirsty one,
one sick one, and one in prison as if it’s a scavenger hunt list.
It’s not about tossing a quarter or a loonie into a panhandler’s cup
and calling it done.
"There! There’s my good deed for the day,
my ticket to eternity with the sheep!"
That would be using people for your own gain.
And then what about those days when you walk by,
maybe because you’re in a hurry
or because you don’t have any change
or because you’re in a foul mood
and don’t feel like helping.
Then do you end up being a goat?
Are you back at square one?

I don’t know if this story was meant to scare us,
to make us worry about which side we’ll be on.
Are we sheep or are we goats?
Are we going to be sent away to eternal punishment
or to eternal life?
Well, the story might scare us or make us worry
but there’s good news in the story too.
Jesus is here.
How many of you have ever met a king or a queen,
a prime minister or a president?
Whatever we might think of our leaders,
I think it would be an honour.
How many of you have ever met the King of kings,
the Son of God?
Well, he’s with you every day.
Jesus is present in every single person whose path crosses ours,
and particularly in the least ones, the lost ones,
the last ones we would ever have expected.
So how do we live, knowing that?
Now maybe that makes us more afraid
or more worried than before.
Some Christians talk about
"a personal relationship with your Lord and Saviour."
Well, where do we find a relationship like that?
Jesus is so present with us,
that we’ve got unlimited opportunities
to have a relationship like that,
opportunities to meet him and to serve him.
We forget, or maybe we don’t even understand,
that everything we do or don’t do
affects our relationship with our Lord.

Barbara Brown Taylor writes:
"The only way to tell if they are really Jesus’ eyes
is to look into them,
to risk that moment of recognition that may break your heart,
or change your mind, or make you mad,
or make you amend your life.
Whatever effect it has on you,
that seems to be one thing the sheep know how to do
that the goats have never tried:
to look, to see, to seek Christ
in the last, the lost, the least.
The food, the drink, the welcome, the visit—
all those things will follow in their own good time.
They are necessary for life;
they are not optional,
but by themselves they are just quarters in a cup.
Charity is no substitute for kinship.
We are not called to be philanthropists or social workers,
but brothers and sisters.
We are called into relationship,
even when that relationship is unlikely, momentary, or sad.
We are called to look at each other and see Christ,
who promises to be there where our eyes meet,
and in that glance
to teach us something we need to know."

What we need to do is look, look into the eyes of Jesus.
Why are the goats in this story condemned?
They’re not condemned for doing bad things, remember,
but for doing nothing.
They didn’t kick the beggar in the street.
They didn’t spit on the lonely stranger.
They didn’t curse at the homeless person.
They simply didn’t see any relationship between their lives
and the lives of the least.
If we have faith, if we are people of faith
then we claim to have a relationship with our Lord and Saviour.
It’s up to us to decide what we’re going to do about it.

If we look into the eyes of Christ in our neighbour,
in the eyes of the least,
then we might just find out that we are one of them.
We all have a sign on our backs that says "beggar."
Our problem is when we see "beggar" on someone else’s back
and we assume our sign says "courtier" or "monarch"
and we feel like we’re at some higher station than they are.
If we truly look into the eyes of Christ in our neighbour
we’ll see that they’re not so different from us,
or rather, that we’re not so different from them.
Martin Luther’s last written words were
"It’s true. We’re beggars."

But our gospel reading today teaches us another thing.
They ask "When did we give you something to eat or drink?
When did we welcome you as a stranger
or give you clothes to wear
or visit you while you were sick or in jail?"
The king will answer,
"When ever you did it for any of my people,
no matter how unimportant they seemed,
you did it for me."
All those beggars out there,
including you and me,
we all have a "monarch" sign taped to our backs.
When we look into the eyes of our neighbour in need
we see our Lord, our King.

We’ve come to the end of our church year,
a cycle we’ll begin again next Sunday.
Throughout the year we’ve found God in a manger,
among lepers and the blind,
in strange stories with unexpected twists,
hanging on a cross,
and missing from a vacated tomb!
"When did we see you Lord?"
Squint hard and stare
at the most God-forsaken person you can find.
Then offer a cup of water,
a gentle and assuring pat on the back,
a handshake of welcome.
Greet your hidden Lord!
Amen

Baby It's Cold Outside

Last night we had our first dusting of snow for this winter. We had rain off and on during the day and then after dark it turned to snow. The grass, the cars, the roofs were all white but the roads and sidewalks were clear.

This morning was the first time this season that the temperature has been below freezing as I walked the kids to school. They like crunching the ice that forms over puddles. They race each other to be the first one to crunch the ice. I'm not dressing for the cold yet. I'm still wearing a ball cap instead of a toque and I don't even know if I've got a pair of gloves around. It was less than a month ago that we left Florida and now there's snow and ice on the ground.

And in church I'm starting to plan and think about Advent and Christmas. In church I try to let Advent be Advent and not jump the gun toward Christmas but at home I can't help it. I've already started to play carols on the piano. I had a rule about not playing any Christmas music until the First Sunday in Advent or December 1, whichever comes first, but I've broken it for a few years now. My wife was wrapping some presents last night and put a Christmas episode of Vicar of Dibley on the TV to get into the mood. The older I get the less I'm enjoying winter but I like the feel of the cold air, and hopefully the crunch of snow under my feet when Christmas comes.

On the First Sunday in Advent we're doing Advent lessons and carols in church. The Friday after that the Fellowship Group is planning an intergenerational potluck supper and Christmas caroling after that. This Sunday afternoon is Toronto's Santa Claus Parade and we've got a family tradition of watching it on TV with the in-laws. It's all come so fast and just as quickly it'll be over, the earth will be wobbling back on its axis so that the northern hemisphere will be tilted back toward the sun, but for now, well, it's cold outside but I like it.

Mark 6:4 not always true

But Jesus said, "Prophets are honoured by everyone, except the people of their hometown and their relatives and their own family."

I went back home this past Sunday. The church I’m serving is only the second congregation I’ve ever belonged to. I was baptized when I was 2½ months old at St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Hamilton, Ontario. That’s where my faith was born and grew. I attended Sunday School, confirmation classes, went to youth group (where I met my wife), got married, and had my 3 oldest kids baptized there. It was people there who prayed for me and encouraged me to follow my calling by going to seminary and becoming a pastor. When I was 35½ years old I was called to serve First Evangelical Lutheran Church in Port Colborne, Ontario and here I still am.

Well, this past Sunday I went home, so to speak. I participated in a pulpit exchange with their pastor. He came to Port Colborne and I went to Hamilton. I was kind of nervous and excited about going back. I’ve been back there from time to time to attend a wedding, a funeral, a conference meeting, the installation of their new pastor, and maybe one or two other things, but it was my first time since being ordained that I preached in that pulpit and presided at worship in that chancel. The congregation has two pastors, one who serves the German speaking part of the congregation and one who serves the English speaking. There are of course some overlaps but that’s the main gist of it. The pulpit exchange was with the English pastor. I went to the German worship service as well and read the lessons there. My German is good enough to read and to understand but not to preach.

It was a great experience. Only one thing would have made it better and that would have been presiding at Holy Communion. That congregation doesn’t have weekly communion yet and I happened to come on a non-communion Sunday. We did the Service of Word and Prayer out of the worship book With One Voice.

I was welcomed warmly and enthusiastically by the people of my old church. Many of the old folks remember me from childhood on (for good or bad). So, this preacher was honoured by the people of his hometown, by his relatives, and his own family. I’ll never forget it.

The Lutheran Handbook

I finally did it! I got my hands on The Lutheran Handbook. I ordered copies for myself and the confirmation class (along with Baptized We Live and CEV Bibles). I've been leafing through the handbook today and it's a riot. There are totally serious sections and others that have made me lol.

For instance, the section titled HOW TO BANISH THE DEVIL FROM YOUR PRESENCE gives 7 points:

1. Laugh out loud.
2. Make the sign of the cross.
3. Seek the company of other believers.
4. Serve those who have less than you.
5. Confess your sins.
6. Break wind.
7. Consider what you might be doing to invite the devil into your life.

Then there's the section HOW TO AVOID GETTING BURNED AT THE STAKE which concludes with

• If there is no hope of escape, request dry wood and plenty of dry kindling. Green wood burns slower, smokier, and at lower temperatures, causing a more painful death.

The Lutheran Handbook is an Augsburg Fortress publication. ISBN 0-8066-5179-2. I highly recommend it and I've barely read anything in it but it puts some fun back into Christianity, fun that often gets sucked out by serious Christians.

I'm Baaack

I know, I know. It's been a long time since I've posted anything. Partly because I find it hard to make the time to do this. Partly because I was on vacation.

The family and I loaded up the Windstar and headed south on October 6. We picked up our breakfast at Tim Horton's and were on our way. We crossed the Peace Bridge into New York then drove through New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, then spent our first night in Virginia. The next day we continued through Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, then spent the second night in Georgia. On October 8 we arrived in Florida and spent a couple of weeks in a condo outside of Walt Disney World. The weather was great. Our first week the temperature hit 90 a few times (that's 32 C) and the second week was only a few degrees cooler, 86-88 (30-31). The only rain we encountered was on the trip down.

We made the same trek last year and bought annual passes for Disney so when we went this year our admission to the parks was already paid for. On the 13th we went to Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party. My wife dressed as Mary Poppins, the girls were a vampire and Sleeping Beauty, and the boys and I were the Three Musketeers. We had a ball. I know a lot of people are down on Disney because of all its excesses, artificiality, etc., but it's a whole lot of fun.

We left Florida in the evening on the 21st and made it across the border into Georgia. The next day we drove as far as northern West Virginia, almost into Pennsylvania. On the 23rd we were home by about 1:30 pm. It was a wonderful, relaxing vacation. I rarely thought about work. I finally read the Da Vinci Code (I thought it was awesome!). I trusted that the people in my church were in good hands.

We won't be doing the Disney thing again for a few years. Next summer we plan to spend a little more time camping with our trailer (there's a great campground in the Finger Lakes Region of New York that we like). We've been talking about a Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, PEI trip ever since we read Anne of Green Gables to the kids. We might get to that in '07.

It was a refreshing time (if not relaxing). It's good to be back home and back to work (I like my job most of the time). Things are busy. Confirmation classes start this week. Our Fall Conference Event takes place this Saturday. And all of a sudden we're in Advent and things just go nuts with the approach of Christmas. I know a lot of clergy take time off after a busy season to catch their breath but I've found that it helped me to take time before things got hectic.

So, I'm back and I'll try to find the time to put my thoughts up on this blog from time to time.

Shalom